A transcript of the eulogy given at Jean Orr’s funeral:
Jean Orr, my Gran, lived a long and happy life. She lived it well, with style and on her own terms – and that’s not a bad way to do it.
It is impossible to adequately summarise 93 years in 5 minutes, so I won’t try. Instead, I’ll simply share some of my memories of Gran.
Having lived through the Second World War, and more specifically, the horrors of the Clydebank Blitz, it is no surprise that Gran was a stoic, strong willed lady with an acute sense of service. That sense of service manifested itself most clearly in the service of her family. She was utterly devoted, first and foremost to her beloved husband Johnnie but also to her wider family, so many of whom are here today. If there was ever a call she would drop everything to help, she was the rock at 72850.
Gran and Grandpa looked after me during my first year of secondary school when I returned from overseas; they also looked after my brother Peter and me after our mum died in 1992, so that we could finish our schooling without disruption instead of joining dad and Charles in Orkney. On both occasions Gran uprooted her life, moving in to our house to care for us without a second thought – I will always be enormously grateful for that. Of course sometimes she could be a little too helpful; if ever I mentioned that I was struggling with homework she wouldn’t try to help herself – in an effort to get the best advice she would get straight on the phone to the most appropriate contact in her considerable social network. And so I frequently found myself suddenly speaking to a bemused, distant relative or acquaintance of Gran’s about alpine geography or Pythagoras’ theory. It was like an early version of ‘phone a friend’ although the pressure on the friend to get it right was much more marked. If anyone here had such a call in the late 80s thank you. And I’m sorry.
I think it’s fair to say that Gran was a determined lady who knew her own mind. She was once advised by a doctor that she should stop drinking alcohol for a period to get over an illness. She stopped drinking whisky and switched to white wine on the basis that ‘wine doesn’t count’.
One of the best examples of her determination was her effort to relearn to drive after Grandpa died so she could maintain her independence. Despite not having driven in 50 years she took lessons and quickly got back on the road. Not that it was all plain sailing – she did once take the wrong exit onto the Erskine bridge. With a calm assuredness she did rectify the mistake, by doing a u-turn (albeit into oncoming traffic in the other lane of the same carriageway). She was somewhat indignant that some drivers had the audacity to sound their horns at her – especially as she insisted she was signalling clearly and correctly.
Gran loathed bad manners. She was a strong advocate of the ‘Social Graces’ and maintaining the very highest standards. She was proud of those standards too – her house was kept in show home condition and she never left the house without ensuring she was at her glamorous best, complete with a string of knotted pearls and signature perfume. Gran liked to be at the cutting edge of social change. She was once telling me about when her family first moved to Hardgate, to a Sandstone building at the bottom of Cochno Road, opposite where the Chinese takeaway and Trimm’s hairdresser is now (don’t look for it, it’s not there anymore). She was explaining that there were two families in the building that shared what she called ‘facilities’. I said – ‘oh so you shared a toilet’. ‘I beg your pardon’ she replied. ‘It was a Water Closet’! — It was very like her to make that important distinction.
Gran was such an important influence on all her grandchildren and I know Stuart and Gael have their own special memories of her. Gael wrote a beautiful piece about her memories – I’d like to read an extract of that now; I think it perfectly captures her:
Gran took such an interest in us all and passed the family news on, it is definitely the reason why so many of us have good relationships and stay in touch with each other today. Gran would keep us updated on all the cousins’ whereabouts, news and achievements. We thought our cousins were such achievers, only for us all to realise years later she did the same with all of us! She talked really proudly about all of the grandkids and always had time for us. Despite the distance Gran and Grandpa would stay in touch – I have memories of speaking to both on the phone from a young age as they would frequently call. Gran always listened with interest – whether it be about the latest outfit, school event or decorating project she was always up to speed. Gran was switched on and smart, she had a great memory and never missed birthdays. —--Thanks Gael for those beautiful words.
We all have our memories of Gran, Great Gran, Jean, Aunt Jean, mum. I remember her love, the best steak pies and chocolate cakes and the twinkle of a mischievous smile. But mostly I’ll remember a fabulously generous and funny person who I always looked forward to seeing and whose company I really enjoyed. And I’ll remember her legacy – that which was most important to her – her family.
She will be greatly missed by all of us.
